"I used to snipe noble trains at 4 AM. Now I get out of breath just scrolling down my village overview."
MY TRAGIC BACKSTORY
I'm not saying the normal servers gave me PTSD, but my heart still skips a beat when my microwave beeps because it sounds exactly like the incoming attack horn.
I came to this server for rehab. My therapist said I needed a safe space where my capital village can't be stolen while I'm taking a shower.
This village currently consists of:
• 10% Troops
• 90% Emotional Baggage
• 100% Gratitude for the attack point restrictions.
MY "HEALING" DAILY ROUTINE
► 03:00 Wake up in a cold sweat. Frantically check the app. Zero incomings. Cry tears of joy and go back to sleep.
► 09:00 Send my spearfighters to farm barbarians. Apologize to them for the long walk.
► 14:00 See a red icon on my screen. Almost throw my phone out the window. Realize it's just a quest notification.
► 20:00 Actually eat dinner with my family instead of hiding in the bathroom calculating return times.
► 23:59 Sleep? Like a normal human? Absolutely.
DIPLOMACY & BOUNDARIES
✔ Allies
• Chamomile tea.
• The mathematical impossibility of you nobling me.
• Players who just want to play SimCity in peace.
NAP
• Barbarian villages near Barbarian Village (443|497) K44
We have a mutual understanding. I take their clay, they take my dignity.
Enemies
• Anyone who messages me "u up?" at 2 AM. (I am sleeping, please respect my boundaries).
• People who send 1 Ram fakes. My nerves honestly can't handle the notification, please just take the resources.
TRAUMA RESPONSE DOCTRINE
STEP 1: See incoming attack. Experience aggressive flashbacks to 2018.
STEP 2: Draft an emotional 5-paragraph essay to the attacker asking who hurt them.
STEP 3: Remember I transferred to a protected, casual server.
STEP 4: Delete the essay. Send them a single scout back just to be passive-aggressive.
STEP 5: Go water my real-life houseplants.
TRIGGER WARNING
If you steal my profile, I won't even attack you. I will just feel deeply disappointed.
However, if you scout me, I will assume you are my sleep paralysis demon and I will send exactly one (1) extremely slow swordsman to knock on your gates in about 43 hours.